


He Makes Me Feel Like I'm Something Worth Loving- Intruality

by AsterAspera, never90mind



Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterAspera/pseuds/AsterAspera, https://archiveofourown.org/users/never90mind/pseuds/never90mind
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192841
Kudos: 7





	1. Remus' Birthday

Patton arranges the last of the cups on the table and looks around the room. "I feel like we're forgetting something important," he frets. 

He's still not sure why he volunteered to help organise a party when he can barely remember to keep his own life organised. Maybe it was because he wanted to do something nice for others, maybe it was how excited Remus had been about it.

"Yeah," Remus says, carrying only one of a few large boxes of alcohol. "We're forgetting a shit ton of this. Well, and some water for Jan," he says. "Could you help with the rest?" he asks, setting one box down with a grin. "I could use your strong arms," he says, very un-subtly flirting.

He's a big flirt with everyone, but with them it's all jokes and mindless innuendos, whereas with Patton it's all genuine compliments and adoration. He hasn't seemed to notice yet.

Patton hides his blush at the comment and picks up some of the boxes easily. "Isn't it a bit much?" Patton asks, because those really are a lot of boxes. He wonders what disasters this night is going to lead to with this amount of alcohol.

"Oh, did you make the playlist?" He asks once he's set down all of the boxes and the drinks table looks good. 

"I've already bought it, and I ate the receipts," Remus laughs, although he's telling the truth. "And yeah, playlist is good to go. I'm sorry Pat, but I can't turn off 'Allow Explicit', or you can only play like five songs. Do you really want 'Fat Bottomed Girls' on repeat all night?" he laughs again.

It comes easy to him, joy coming loud and clear in the sound whenever he's happy or someone told a joke. Thankfully, that's quite often now- almost constantly. That's why Remus' laugh means so much to Patton.

Patton sighs, but it's fond. "I guess not," he says begrudingly. He tears his eyes away from where they're staring at Remus. At how beautiful and excited and happy he looks. He wants to keep that smile on Remus's face forever.

He wraps an arm around Remus's shoulder and looks around the room. "It's going to be great! Everyone's going to have so much fun," he says happily.

Remus pulls Patton's other arm around himself with a smile, before hugging him back. Patton hugs are the best- so soft and warm but still strong and tight. Remus suspects he's been practicing his technique. Maybe he even has a special hug workout.

He does.

"Yeah Pat, this is gonna be great!" he grins into his shoulder. "Specially with you here, this is gonna be the best birthday I've had in a long while."


	2. After the Swimming Pool

The group spends a few hours at the pool, and it's fun, but it's getting late. And so, as he wraps up his story, Patton suggests they leave now, and his friends agree.

He watches the others head homewards when they leave, meandering towards the subway. He looks over at Remus, whose hair is curling wildly as it dries and realizes he's not in the mood to head home yet. Hanging out with Remus sounds so much more appealing than returning to studying and chores.

He falls into step next to him. "Want to go get ice cream?" he asks, "There's a nice place that does fancy sundaes and stuff." 

"That sounds great!" Remus grins, slinging an arm around Patton's shoulders and fishing his wallet from his leather jacket pocket. "I'll buy you whatever you want, now lead the way!" he grins excitedly.

He drops his arm to link around Patton's, before shoving his hand into his pocket and turning his head to beam at him. "You have the best ideas, Pat."

Patton smiles as he leads them to the ice cream shop. They settle down in a nice corner booth, next to a large window that looks down on the street below. Remus slides in next to him and Patton settles against his side, wrapping his arm around his waist.

He orders something with way too much chocolate and sprinkles and laughs as Remus orders something equally ridiculous. It strikes him suddenly how much this feels like a date. He had always said that he would take his boyfriend to this ice cream place someday. 

Remus just smiles at the hand on his waist, feeling wonderfully at home while with Patton, although he's definitely pining a lot. Does this mean he likes him back? Is this a date? He tries not to think about it, opting to shove ice cream into his mouth at an alarming speed.

Patton leans forward to dip his spoon in Remus's ice cream, stealing a bite. "Oh, it's really good!" he exclaims.

"Here, want to try a bite of mine?" He slides his bowl over to him. The chocolate and sprinkle covered strawberry ice cream is almost overwhelmingly sweet, which is exactly how likes it.

Remus tries some of Patton's, making sure to steal a marshmallow in the process. "That's good," he smiles. "We should come again sometime, or maybe I could take you somewhere I like?" he suggests. 'Is this a date?' he desperately wants to ask, but that could make it weird. That could screw it up. And Remus has definitely screwed too much up already to risk going that way with something as amazing as his relationship with Patton, whatever its nature is.


	3. Tacos

Patton walks over to Remus's dorm, an excited bounce to his step. He doesn't know where Remus plans to take him, but he knows it would be an amazing evening. Honestly, he could be taking him to the local grocery store and Patton would still think it the best outing ever. As long as Remus is there, he's happy. 

He knocks on the door when he arrives. As he waits, he wonders if he's a bit overdressed. He had been so excited about an evening with Remus he had immediately picked out his best clothes. Maybe the vest with hand embroidered flowers was a bit much.

Remus opens his door and immediately smiles bright enough to rival the sun upon seeing him. "Hi!" he grins, hugging Patton tight. Remus' hugs are a bit more asphyxiating than Patton's, but it's affectionate murder so it's okay. "I love your vest!" he compliments. No sex jokes are used on Patton- there's no need. For one, he doesn't want to scare him away, and for two, Patton's one of the few people he can constantly compliment. It just comes easier with him.

Remus himself is wearing black jeans that are ripped enough they could belong to a werewolf, his favourite beaten-up leather jacket, and a dark green t-shirt with glow in the dark text that spelled out a sexual pun. "C'mon," he grins, taking Patton by the hand. "Taco time."

"Ooh, tacos, you really know how to spoil a guy," Patton laughs. He walks a bit closer to Remus, their hips bumping together. 

"You look great, by the way," he says, because he can't not say it, not when Remus looks as breathtaking as that. He wonders if this qualifies as a date. Probably not right? There's no way Remus is interested in him 

"Thank you!" Remus says, a little shocked at the genuine compliment. "You look better though," he says as they exit the building and make their way through the dim evening streets.

"And we're getting tacos because they're great and I'm broke," he laughs, the sound ringing through the almost deserted twilight streets, the purple of the dusk sky reflecting in the puddles on the street.

Patton lets himself stare at Remus unashamedly, just this once. The evening feels soft and warm and somewhere in the distance he can smell the soft fragrance of tree blossoms. It's a night made for kissing and dancing under the stars, in his opinion. 

They enter the small restaurant, the heat and smell of tacos washing away the peace from outside. He sits down next to Remus, their hips pressed together, their hands entangled. "So, do you have any recommendations? You're the one who picked out the place after all."

"Anything really, it's all food here- watch out for the spice warnings though," Remus replies, pointing out the little indicators on the menu. Little does he know, Patton is actually a master of spice.

Sitting here, so very close to Patton, Remus finds it increasingly difficult to get something off his mind: clambering into Patton's lap and kissing him until the end of the universe.

Unfortunately, he does have to remind himself that that first bit is unlikely and the second bit is impossible. Scratch that, it's all impossible. Why would Patton, innocent, lovely, caring Patton, like him as anything more than friends? Their platonic relationship already astounds him.

"Well I hope it's all food, I've been replying on your taste being trustworthy," Patton mumbles as he looks over the menu. He orders one of the spiciest things they have, enjoying Remus's look of surprise. 

"So what do you want to _taco_ about?" he says, unable to resist the prime pun opportunity. He leans his head against Remus's shoulder, letting himself pretend for just a moment that they're on a date. Then he immediately feels guilty about it.

"Hmm, I dunno," Remus sighs, laying his head on Patton's with a smile. Everything is so warm and so soft, and something inside him can't believe this is real.

"Anything really," he says. Although, he doesn't think talking is necessary right now. Just being like this with Patton is more than enough for him.

Patton smiles gratefully at the waiter as they bring them their food. He doesn't want to leave his comfortable position tucked up against Remus's side but the food is really tempting him. Eventually, he does pull away from Remus just slightly, though their sides stay pressed together. 

He hums appreciatively when he takes a bite. "Wow, this is really good, Re. We should come here more often." And maybe it's a ridiculous hope, that they could come here again, have an evening like this one again. But there's no way Remus wants to spend so much time with him. He's so unlike Remus, boring, uninteresting. He sometimes wonders why Remus even bothers to hang out with him.

"You wanna do anything after this?" Remus asks through a mouthful of taco. He swallows the food. "Like, I dunno, we could play some games at mine and you could stay overnight if you wanted? I'm just having a lot of fun with you is all, and I'd rather it not just end when we finish our food," Remus adds on the end, suddenly a little nervous and feeling the need to explain himself.


	4. Sleepover

Patton gladly goes home with Remus, grateful for any time he gets to spend with him. He immediately steals some cookies, because he feels at home enough he has no qualms about raiding their snack cabinet. 

He settles down on the couch next to Remus, taking the remote from him and squinting at it unsurely. Gaming was not his thing. He could barely get his phone to work some days. He holds out the pack of cookies to Remus.

Despite having just been at a restaurant, Remus smiles and takes a cookie, handing Patton a controller in return. He makes sure to point out the adorable ghost dog as the opening cutscene for Luigi's Mansion 3 begins to play.

Patton gasps at the cuteness of the dog. "Yes! I love him," he says enthusiastically, with almost literal heart eyes.

He curls up to Remus, pretending it's just so he can see what he's doing and copy it. And if there's another, more selfish reason for pressing so close to him, nobody has to know. He plays as best as he can, mostly just enjoying how enthusiastic Remus is about the game.

Remus happily pulls Patton closer to 'help with his vision' and wraps an arm around him. He is very much an opportunist for sex jokes, what with the fact that sucking things with a vacuum is the main mechanic of the game, and you often get money for doing so.

Patton rolls his eyes at the innuendos, but doesn't mind so much, and throws in some puns and a few more innocent jokes, while Remus takes great joy out of giving each character an overdramatic and incredibly bizarre accent.

The night flies by and by the end of it, Patton has stitches from laughing so much. Remus is basically sitting on his lap and Patton has his arms wrapped around him, looking over his shoulder to be able to see the screen. 

"Do you mind if I stay tonight?" He asks quietly, when they eventually take a break for a bit. "It's just, it's pretty late and I don't want to be walking around alone at night," he explains, though he knows he's not telling the full truth. He brushes away the bad feelings he gets from lying.

"Mhm! Stay as long as you want," Remus smiles, taking a sip of the cider that appeared sometime during the game. "You alright to share my bed?" he asks, not being subtle at all. "I mean, it's a double, and I wouldn't want you to hurt your back on a couch," he says, trying to give reasons why his suggestion isn't entirely preposterous.

He looks over to Patton, suddenly worried of time repeating itself, and that rejection would follow him forever. He waits, trying to read his face.

Patton tries to hide his excitement at the offer. He couldn't admit this wasn't exactly what he had been hoping for. "Yeah, that sounds great," he says, as mildly as he can manage while his heartbeat skyrockets at the thought of sharing a bed with Remus. He gently pushes Remus off his lap, because as much as he wants to stay here, they should probably head to bed at some point.

He pauses unsurely once they enter the room, realising he's missing some important things. "You mind if I just sleep in my boxers and shirt? I didn't bring sleeping clothes and I don't think I'll fit in yours." The fancy dress shirt he was wearing probably wouldn't be the most comfortable to sleep in, but he could stomach it.

"Ah, don't flatter me, we're pretty much the same size," Remus shrugs, pulling a soft grey t-shirt from his drawer. It looks like it will fit Patton. "Here ya go, I can't imagine a button-up is nice to sleep in," he sympathizes, beginning the process of shamelessly changing into his own nightwear, Patton still in the room. He doesn't particularly see a problem with it; no-one's pointed it out to him. He's never really had anyone sleep over before, in all honesty.

Patton turns around quickly, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. To distract himself, he unbuttons his shirt and quickly pulls Remus's over his head. He smiles slightly when he realises it still smells like him. 

He sits down on the bed, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. Remus flops down on the bed and Patton follows, staring up at the ceiling and hyper aware of Remus next to him. He wonders what he would think if Patton reached out and wrapped his arms around him. That probably wasn't a thing friends did, right?

Patton really doesn't have to worry so much- Remus is bold enough for the both of them. He makes sure to turn off the main light, only leaving the little one on the nightstand turned on. Totally not to help with nightmares or anything. He does what Patton's been debating about in his head for the past few minutes, and just brings Pat into his arms, so that his head rests midway between Remus' chest and stomach. He lets out an overdramatic yawn and begins stroking Patton's hair absent-mindedly. "You're great to hang out with," he says passively. "We should make this a more regular thing."

Patton freezes for a moment before relaxing in Remus's hold. The hand in his hair is probably one of the best things he's ever felt and Patton utterly melts. "We should," he murmurs softly, scared to disturb the quiet. "This was a great evening, thank you Re," he says earnestly and he isn't just talking about the tacos. He wraps his arms tightly around him, feeling safe and protected.

Remus yawns and gives Patton a gentle squeeze before flicking out the light. "Love ya buddy," he murmurs, falling asleep before Patton even has time to process.


	5. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for blood and violence i guess, but it's all within the dream

Remus isn't sure how he got here, but the blood is on his hands as he kneels, sobbing, the stained knife on the ground in front of him.

He didn't mean to, he didn't mean to, he tells himself, but there's a part of his brain that tells him he did. The part of his brain that told him to do it, showed him every step of the way, and Remus agreed.

Now Patton lays in front of him, his torso full of glass and holes and wounds and so, so much blood. Some of it Remus' and some of it his own, but Remus can't see through the thick, hot tears that sting his face.

And he can't hear through the ringing in his ears, his own screaming voice soon to join, and he wakes up with a start to his own cries.

He's shaking, he's sweating, and he's definitely crying, but there's no blood. No knife. No corpse.

Patton is next to him alive and well, although thoroughly startled, and the sight makes Remus cry harder. Is it relief? Guilt? Fear? Probably some horrifying mix of them all.

Patton wakes up to shrieking and his first reaction is to panic. But when he sees Remus crying, it immediately makes place for worry, all his own fear forgotten.

"I'm going to touch you now, alright?" He warns, because Virgil once told him it helps to have that warning when you're panicking. He reaches forward and gently wraps his hands around Remus's wrists, smoothing his thumb over them.

"It's okay, you're okay, I promise," he whispers a litany of reassurances, hoping it can calm him. Patton's voice sounds rough from sleep and he's sure tears are spilling down his cheeks too, but he doesn't even notice. Remus looks so terrified and it's breaking his heart. "You're safe," he promises.

Remus isn't really panicking, he's just scared, and he's never been touch-averse. He flings himself into Patton's arms and cries into his shoulder, holding on tight to remind himself that this is real. Patton is real and he's alive- he can feel his heartbeat.

"Can you turn the light on?" he sniffles, and his voice is raspy and choked. The bedside lamp is still on, but it's dim, and he wants to be able to see Patton, to have every single sense filled with him.

Then again, that scares him. He loves Patton with all of his heart, he knows he does. So why did he dream that? Why did he think that? What could justifiably have put that in his head?

He comes up short.

"Of course sweetheart," Patton says softly, relinquishing his hold on Remus to go turn on the light. "I'll be back in a second," he reassures him when Remus tightens his grip.

He slips out of bed and flicks on the light before quickly returning and gathering Remus in his arms once more. He presses his lips to Remus's hair, rocking him gently. "What happened? Did you have a nightmare?"

The nicknames and kisses would have made him blush in any other scenario, but right now that warmth is being used to calm him down, not fluster him.

He nods and pulls away from Patton, wiping his eyes before he speaks. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I was hoping it uhh, well, wouldn't happen with you over, but I guess I can't exactly control when it happens," he says weakly. It's a bad excuse. A nightmare is fine, he gets them almost all the time. But the ones about his friends, about Patton, are the ones that scare him the most.

He's too desensitised to violence at this point, so the gore isn't what rattles him. It's why he gets these thoughts, and these dreams. He'd never want to do those things, he knows that.

So why does he still think them?

"Hey, it's okay, I'm happy I'm here to help you." Patton doesn't want to think about Remus facing this all on his own. Waking from a nightmare to an empty bed and a dark room.

"Come with me," Patton says, standing up and taking Remus's hand in his, flicking on a few lights as they go, "I'll make you some hot chocolate." They head to the kitchen and Patton heats up some milk, keeping a careful eye on Remus all the while. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly. 

Remus thinks about it. He really doesn't, but he knows he owes Patton an explanation. For the screaming, for the crying, and worst of all, for the dream itself.

"You'll hate me," he says meekly. At least he's given fair warning now, so Patton can proceed if he wants to.

Patton guides Remus to the couch and presses the hot chocolate into his hands. "I could never hate you," he says earnestly, because Remus could admit he had murdered someone and Patton wouldn't love him any less for it.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I would never hate or judge you, I promise."

Suddenly, Remus freezes up. He already knows he's going to tell Patton; the thought is in his mind and he can't back out, but his lungs and his heart feel like they've stopped and he can't speak a word.

He curls up small on the couch, smaller than Patton has ever seen him look, and begins typing on his phone instead.

He explains the dream, all of the dreams, and all of the thoughts too. How much they scare him, not with the horror, but with the fact he could conceive them. He explains how terrified he is to go to sleep some nights, and how the thoughts fill the blank spaces on walls and in shadows, how bad of a person he believes himself to be, and how often the thoughts plague him. Everywhere they've been, how he thought about drowning Roman for real in the pool and thought about burning down the ice cream place, and how he'd cried himself to a nightmare-ridden sleep that night, overwhelmed by the prospect of losing his brother due to his own stupid brain.

Several painstaking paragraphs later, Remus has it all typed out, and his face stings from the tears he's shed while writing it. He passes his phone to Patton.

"I'm sorry."

Patton reads it, tears pricking his eyes when the words register. His heart breaks for Remus. 

"Oh Remus," he says when he looks up, "You're not a bad person," he states adamantly, because how can Remus ever believe that? "These thoughts aren't your fault, alright? Your thoughts do not define you, your actions do. And you are the kindest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

He takes Remus into his arms again, holding him so close. "You are not a monster, and you're not evil and it's not your fault and I'm going to keep repeating that till you believe me."

Remus sets down his untouched hot chocolate, feeling too sick to drink it, and stands up to accept Patton's hug. He knows full well that if Patton repeats it until Remus believes it, he'll wear out his larynx before he can finish his goal.

But Remus doesn't say anything, because right now Patton's hugging him, and Patton's hugs give him all of the best feelings he's ever had. Even if nothing changes at all, and he has these thoughts forever, he knows he'll have Patton too.

Patton isn't his mother.

Patton isn't his father.

Patton is loyal, and loving, and patient, and he's seen all of that more than enough times to believe it's true.

And one thing that stands out most of all right now, is that his parents are nowhere to be seen, and Patton is Here.


	6. Disney and Advice

After his rant about Janus is over, Patton and Roman put on a movie to wind down, and Roman cuddles up to Patton. He doesn't mind being the designated pillow of the friend group- in fact he's quite proud of it, he thinks, as he ruffles Roman's hair.

They're halfway into the first of what will likely be several Disney movies tonight, and Patton's been wandering the whole time if it's weird to ask Roman for romantic advice with his brother. "Hey Roman?" he asks gently, just as Elsa finishes her song. No backing down now.

"Yeah?" Roman asks, turning down the sound so he can actually focus on Patton. He sits up a bit from where he's slouched against Patton and gives him his full attention. From his time of voice, he can deduce this isn't just Patton asking him to get up so he can grab more snacks 

"Can I ask you some stuff? About Remus?" he asks. His voice is very evidently nervous and he isn't looking at Roman. He wants to be able to help Remus and love him in the best way he can, and to do that, he's going to have to suck it up and talk to Roman.

"What did he do now?" Roman asks jokingly, then sobers when he sees how nervous Patton is. "Sorry padre, I was just kidding. Yeah, you can ask me anything, but I'm not sure I can answer everything. Don't want to spill any of his secrets without permission." Though Roman feels Remus wouldn't mind too much, not when it's Patton.

"Do you know about his intrusive thoughts?" Patton asks. He's hidden it well from the others, although he's not sure of the extent to which you can hide things from your own brother. He wants to know the extent that Roman knows about it- if he knows any more or less than him, to make sure that he doesn't say anything he shouldn't and that he's not unaware of anything.

"Yeah, I do. We shared a bedroom, so I used to comfort him after nightmares and stuff. It was pretty hard to hide that from me when he used to wake up screaming and crying every night." Those days had been hard, and their parents hadn't exactly been any help. He brushed away those memories as best as ge could.

"So he told you, huh? What do you want to know about it?" Roman couldn't help the faint surge of protectiveness at the thought of confiding in Patton. He had spent years covering for Remus and keeping the secret from their parents, saying anything about it felt strange.

"Yeah I uh, I slept at his house a couple nights ago, and he had a nightmare and we both woke up," Patton explained, grateful for the fact that he could still hug Roman while talking about this. The physical comfort of a friend being there helped a lot. "And he told me pretty much everything- and well, he had a nightmare about murdering me, he said. But that's not the bit that upset me really. He has too see those things everywhere," he choked, starting to cry. "And he thinks he's such a horrible person, and that he doesn't deserve love or friends, and- and I want to change that Roman. I love him so fucking much but I don't know how to help him," he sobbed, too overwhelmed with emotion to bother censoring himself. He squeezed onto Roman a bit tighter.

Some of the tension flows from Roman's body. He had been just the slightest bit concerned about what Patton would think about Remus now. Even though he trusted his friend, he knew all too well the rejection Remus had faced.

"I know, believe me, I know it sucks and it's terrible. But you're already helping, Patton. The fact that you accept him and aren't disgusted by those thoughts, that does so much. Just by being there, you prove he's worthy of love. So you just need to keep doing that. And give him lots of hugs, of course." Roman smiled slightly, in terms of hugs, his brother had picked the right guy.

Patton nods and sighs, relieved. "Thanks Ro. I'll make sure to give him even more hugs," he smiles. He's glad he asked now- Roman's not too grossed out that Patton's into his brother, and he knows about Remus' thoughts, so he doesn't have to figure this out by himself. "You're the best," he smiles, slouching back down and wiping his tears before hugging Roman closer and shifting his focus back to the movie.


	7. Confession (Truth or Dare)

Patton sits on the ground next to Remus, leaning against the couch where Virgil and Logan are comfortably curled up together. Patton might feel just a little bit jealous that they figured their relationship stuff out already. 

"Truth or dare, really?" Janus asks when he walks in with Roman, their arms laden with snacks. "Come on, it's a classic!" Roman says enthusiastically, "What do the rest think?" He asks the room. Patton shrugs, he's just happy to be hanging out with his friends. If that's what Roman wants to do, he's all for it. Behind him, he feels Virgil perk up.

Logan's with Janus in rolling his eyes- they're both just here to see how this plays out. Remus nods and Roman grins, encouraging everyone to sit in a circle. Disney songs can be heard playing quietly in the background.

"Who wants to go first?" Roman asks, now that they're all in a circle.

"If we must, I will go first, then at least I'm off the hook for a few minutes," Janus pipes up, his tone trying for annoyed, but landing squarely on fond. 

"Truth or dare then?" Virgil says, jumping at the opportunity to annoy Janus.

"Truth, I'm not an idiot."

"What's the most embarrassing music you listen to?" Virgil asks smugly.

Janus sighs. "Katy Perry," he grumbles, "None of this information leaves this room, alright?" He says in a threatening tone.

Roman laughs. "Impeccable taste, my dear lord of the lies. Now who's next?"

Patton holds up a hand. "I'll go," he says.

Virgil smirks. He's had Remus ranting to him for weeks about how cute Patton is, and he'd like that to stop. Not just so he doesn't have to listen to hopeless pining, but also so they can be happy together. If you ask him though, he won't give you the second reason.

"Truth or dare?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. He has a good one for both.

Patton shrugs. "Dare," he says, trusting Virgil enough to know he wouldn't embarrass him.

"Okay, kiss Remus," Virgil says simply and Patton immediately blushes. Then an idea strikes him and he turns to Remus. He leans over and presses a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away with a mischievous smile. 

"Come on, that's cheating," Roman complains. Patton just sticks his tongue out.

Remus is left blushing too, and he would very much like to have that happen again.

Roman takes his turn and Logan too, then Virgil, and then it's Remus' turn. "Truth or dare?" Janus asks slyly. Remus shrugs. "Why not both?"

"Tell us who you have a crush on and kiss him," Janus says, because he is pretty sure the object of said crush was present in this room.

"It's easily Patton," Remus states freely, as if it was the most casual thing to drop out of nowhere. He picks up Patton's hand and kisses the back of it, and then, just to be extra, he kisses his knuckles and his palm too, not caring that his face was getting to be a darker shade of red than Romans' maroon jumper.

Patton hides his face in his hands, trying to cover the violent red blush all over his cheeks. He can practically feel the smiles the others must have and he wonders why he thought this was a good idea.

The dares keep coming, every time it lands on Patton or Remus, they're told to kiss each other. And every time, Patton presses his lips to Remus's knuckles or cheeks or forehead. By the end, Patton is a giggling, blushing mess and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

When the game is finally over, the group disperses a little, going to their separate activities. This leaves Logan and Virgil cuddling on the couch, Roman and Janus sneaking awkward glances at each other beside them, a movie playing on the TV. This also leaves Remus a prime opportunity. With the excuse of showing Patton a new game he bought, he brings him upstairs to his room and shuts the door.

"Now that the voyeurists are gone," Remus smiles, "truth or dare?"

Patton takes Remus's hands and pulls him a bit closer. He knows what is coming and on one hand, he's terrified, because he's never really done this before. But on the other hand, he's never wanted anything more that this.

"I dare you to kiss me," he says, heart hammering in his chest as he waits for Remus's response.

"That's not how the game works," Remus smiles, placing a hand on Patton's waist and one on his cheek, and he kisses him.

He's surprisingly gentle, not wanting to scare Patton off with too much intensity, and he feels an explosion of comfort and warmth and everything Patton is, as soon as their lips touch. He wants to feel this way forever, he thinks, winding one hand further around Patton's back, pulling him closer.

Patton smiles into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Remus's waist as he deepens the kiss, the other coming up to cradle the back of his head. It's exactly like he dreamed it would be and Patton never, ever wants this moment to end. He wants to stay here forever, safe and warm and happy. "I love you," he whispers, as he pulls away just slightly, before capturing Remus's lips in another insistent kiss.

Remus gently breaks away and pulls Patton in even closer for a tight hug. No amount of squeezing or kissing or talking could ever begin to express how much Remus loves Patton. "I love you too," he whispers softly, a contrast to everything he usually is.

Patton smiles happily and leads Remus to the bed so they can properly cuddle. He pulls him into his lap and peppers gentle kisses all over his face and neck. He can't express how full his heart feels right now, so he settles for just showing Remus how much he loves him.


	8. Cuddles

Remus curls up against Patton, their limbs tangled together and his face pressed against Patton's neck. He dreams and for once they aren't filled with blood and gore and pain. It's just Patton and his soft smile and bright eyes. 

He wakes up slow, for once, the warmth from Patton's arms threatening to drag him under once again. Patton nuzzles a little closer in his sleep, tightening his arms around him.

Remus gladly lets Patton hold him- it's the best he's felt in years. Encircled in his arms, Remus is warm and happy, and he makes a note to tell Patton how much he helps just by being here. He knows he'll appreciate it.

With his face pressed into Patton's shoulder, he can feel him, see him, hear him, and smell him. Almost every sense is filled with Patton, and as he places a soft kiss to his jaw, he can faintly taste him too.

Patton blinks open his eyes when he feels a kiss on his jaw. He smiles sleepily at Remus and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"Good morning sweetheart," he mumbles, too tired for anything more coherent than that. The clock on the bedside table tells him it's only six in the morning but Patton finds he doesn't mind, not when this is what he gets to wake up to.

"Not morning," Remus mumbles tiredly, scooting impossibly closer to Patton. "Sleeping time," he says again, still quiet. Remus is very much not a morning person, and will in fact gladly stay like this until noon, just having hours of sleepy cuddles.

Patton huffs but doesn't protest. How could he? Everything about this is perfect and no amount of being productive will convince him to leave the embrace of his boyfriend.

"Fine, but we're at least getting up before one this time," he says quietly and presses a kiss to Remus's lips. "Love you," he murmures.

"We'll see about that," Remus says with a grin, knowing Patton will probably fall asleep again soon. "I love you too," he says softly as he wraps his legs around Patton and presses his lips to the base of his neck.


End file.
